WARNING: “Magical bullet can be planted in your luggage”, and you won’t even know how!

For the past few weeks more and more people were victimized by this “bullet-planting” scandal for extortion in Ninoy Aquino International Airports. I cannot even count it with my fingers both hands and feet!

I am so mad that in the back of my head there is always fear of going to the airport whenever I am flying or meeting Mike at the airport. It makes me so sick to see passengers who just arrived in the Philippines and their luggage is wrapped in a plastic like a golden sausage! Such a shame, I know.

One more thing is, you are f*cking trying your best to promote the “Pearl of the Orient Seas”, “The Land of Smiles and hospitable people”, “The *insert the best beaches you can find in our 7,107 islands here slogan* and “It’s more fun in the Philippines hashtags”.

Why I stopped writing about the Philippines? 

First, I am only a normal citizen of the Land of the Orient Seas and was trying to promote the Philippines to my friends overseas, and gushed how beautiful our islands are that you can even close your eyes and point your finger and surprise yourself on which island will you go next. But now, my tounge can’t even move when after I gushing over it, my friends will ask about the “bullet-planting scandal” and told me they were afraid to fly here and will just reschedule their flights when this f***cking scandal is OVER. But the question is “WHEN?”

OKAY. Given that “some” Filipinos believe that bullet is some kind of a “charm” because of a legend we have here. But, why are there some passengers who got caught with a bullet in their luggage and doesn’t have any idea how the hell it happened. Plus, asking for money over 250,000 Philippine peso in exchange of freedom and not missing the flight! WHAT A SHAME!!!

Every taxi drivers I spoke with while I am on my way home from running some errands are fuming mad and can’t believe how the government doesn’t give a sh*t “or maybe they do” about this “bullet planting scandal”.

My Uncle event messaged me if it is okay to film himself packing his bag and wrap it with a tape and cover it with plastic because he is afraid to be victimized by this shameful act! Like this?


Notes can be found on passengers luggage and carry-ons as well! Like this:


To all my friends who wish to visit the Philippines, here are some tips on how to prevent being victimized by this con.

  1. Choose a bag without pocket, because this mother-fffffff bullets can magically get inside your bag!
  2. Don’t accept anything from strangers – specially to those screening officers in NAIA
  3. Never let your luggage be out of your sightRemember how sneaky the bullet can get inside your bag? 
  4. Insist on your presence – as per Mike, NEVER EVER let someone touch your bag. Tell the officers, “dont f*cking touch my bag, let me do it! I repeat, Don’t f*cking touch my bag”.
  5. Wrap your luggageThis is the new trend anyway, let the world know that you are from the Philippines where magic bullets can be planted inside your bag and get extorted!  And, oh! let the world know how you love sausage so much that you even wrapped your luggage! 
  6. Report everything! – If they found a magical bullet in your bag, report it immediately and record all names of the personnel involved, and oh! another thing! LET THAT CAMERA ROLL!

If no bullet(s) was found, congratulations, and welcome to the Philippines!  You have survived!